I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
