I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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