Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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