Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
