he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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