You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
