weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
