His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
