Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I need to calm my uterus...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
