Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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