Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
