Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
