we have pet lesbian snakes
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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