I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Damn victory sex feels great
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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