You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
