Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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