we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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