That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
