I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
