He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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