sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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