If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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