Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I want to fling myself into the sun
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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