Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
