dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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