so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
