i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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