what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
