you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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