So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
