Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
