I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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