the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
