a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
