I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
