She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
