By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
