By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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