OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
