I got chris browned last night
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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