she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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