At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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