last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
