hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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