I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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