Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
