It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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