I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
