at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
