it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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