he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
