no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize