At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
