Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
