If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
