awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
