Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize