Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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