STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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