You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
