My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize