he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
