we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
