Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Text me some of your sweat
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
