Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
as a side note pls kill me
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
