just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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