Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Randomize
