he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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