So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We're using joints as your birthday candles
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
