i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
