Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize