I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
