Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
