He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
