I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize