She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
